I will praise You in this storm.
Last night I was laying in bed thinking about what I had going on this week, like I usually do on Sunday nights. I don’t have a lot going on these next few days but as I thought about this upcoming weekend, I knew there was something going on but I was like 1/4 asleep and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then in one instant it hit me.
I knew this was coming for about 5 months now, but somehow it hadn’t hit me yet. Then suddenly I realized I’d never have another Saturday movie night with him again. I’d never go to church with him again. His schedule is so busy with packing and seeing old friends this week that he won’t be home hardly at all, so I’ll never get to play 2-square with him again. He’ll be back for a week in December, but he’s pretty much gone. We have phone calls and Skype and that kind of stuff…but he’ll never be in the next room if I need help understanding my math and science (his strong points.). He won’t be there to make me laugh when I don’t think laughing is possible. He won’t be there to chase me around with the BB gun pretending he’s gonna shoot me. He always did that to freak me out. He won’t be there to play games with me when I’m bored.
I know I’m making it sound like he died, and believe me, I’m more thankful than ever that he’s not dead…but he’s really gonna be gone.
The past 8 months haven’t been super easy on me. I’m not here to complain. I just needed to get this out somewhere and I didn’t know where else. So please bear with me? Thanks.
There have been a lot of goodbyes one after another and I’ve lost some close friends that if you had asked me a year ago I would have thought I’d never lose. It’s just amazing how much life can change in one year. I’ve been knocked down so many times. I’ve learned so much, I’ve learned (I know I’ve posted about this before.) how Jesus is our only true, constantly loyal friend.
Sometimes it feels like I can’t get the strength to keep going. Then I’ll get an encouraging note from someone and I *know* it came from God and it strengthens me so much. I’m probably making a mountain out of a mole hill (never thought I’d use THAT phrase.) but sometimes when you don’t have anyone to lean on, everything that happens seems 500% worse. I don’t know if you guys know how that feels. Sometimes I forget that I have a loving Father in heaven who will NEVER stop loving me. He’s always there. Even though I can’t hug him or have a regular 2-way conversation about life, He’s the best listener there’s ever been. He’s amazing at giving advice. He’s the best Comforter ever.
Whenever I have that horrible pain where I can’t stop missing someone even though it’s been months, I always listen to this song. It’s the most comforting thing ever. It always fits my situation so perfectly and it brings me back to that spot where I feel the comfort of God so much. It’s like He’s right there next to me telling me He’s never gonna leave and I just need to look to Him and lay my burdens there. Here’s the song:
I was sure by now that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say Amen and it’s still raining.
As the thunder rolls, I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”… and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are no matter where I am. And every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.
I remember when I stumbled in the wind. You heard my cry, You raised me up again.
But my strength is almost gone. How can I carry on if I can’t find You?
As the thunder rolls, I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”…and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are no matter where I am.
And every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.
I lift my eyes unto the hills…
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
And I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands…for You are who You are no matter where I am.
And every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm…and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.
I’m just so thankful that God never gives up on us. I love you guys, and I’d appreciate your prayers because I’m going to miss my brother more than anything. Thank you for everything, guys. I love y’all so much. ❤ ❤